Chris Reviews Pain and Gain

This was one of those films that I thought looked interesting but probably would not have gone to see in the theaters because it is a Michael Bay film. When you are offered free admission and are going with a group of people it makes borderline films like this seem more appealing though. So was this a typical idiotic Michael Bay movie or was it a surprisingly enjoyable bit of satirical action? Well I guess you are going to have to read below to find out.

The Good-

Well I cant say that this is an intelligent film but it is pretty fun. There are a multitude of laugh out loud scenes and some really fun characters. The trio of Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson and Anthony Mackie give solid performance with some pretty good chemistry.Overall there are many of the elements that should make for a good action comedy.


The Bad-

Despite the potential for this to be a good action comedy Michael Bay manages to ruin it like everything else in his infamous career. The first and most annoying aspect of the film is that the story is all over the place. The first two acts are chaotic but serviceable but the final act just completely falls apart, gets really weird and is overlong. Michael Bay's interpretation of this story is pretty disturbing as well as he tries to make light of a group of guys that not only stole lots of money but also murdered a husband and a wife, cut up their bodies and tried to dispose of them by putting them in cans of lye and throwing them into a swamp. I understand that it is supposed to be a dark comedy but the more I thought about the premise of this movie the more I was disturbed by Bay's interpretation.

Summary-

Pain and Gain is a really dumb, strange and outrageous film that it probably seems like I hate. While I do have a lot of problems with the film, it did have me laughing quite a bit and I give it credit for trying to be different than the average piece of crap film that has come out this year. Was it worth seeing in the theaters....for free yes but if you have to pay then I would wait to get it at redbox.

MY RATING

3 out of 5

-Chris "Da Franchize" Hart  

Kevin Reviews Pain & Gain

I knew the only way I would end up seeing this film is if I went with a group of friends. And of course that's what happened. Rotten Tomatoes consensus says that this is Michael Bay's most thought-provoking film. We jokingly said "so it goes from a kindergarten level to a 5th grade level?" Is this true, or is this just another Michael Bay piece of crap?

Yeah, this film is pretty much crap. However, it had some hilarious moments that made it somewhat bearable through the second act. Mark Wahlberg gives a solid performance and DAMN he has gotten big since The Departed. I like Mark Wahlberg, I think he's a great actor although he seems to be type-casted as the Boston hardass. He pretty much plays this character throughout this film, but he makes it fun to watch. I really like Tony Shalhoub and he doesn't disappoint as THAT douche bag at the gym. Another good aspect of this film is there is one, maybe two explosions in the whole film, which is very tame for a Michael Bay film. As I said before, this is probably Michael Bay's funniest movie, and that's about all the positive things I have to say about this film.

This movie is garbage. "This is a true story"? I call bullshit on that. This film is very sensationalized and over-the-top, and it gets away from itself. However, Michael Bay felt the need to remind the audience that this is a true story at the beginning of the third act, which goes to show even he recognizes the ridiculousness of this movie. This film is poorly written, and some scenes end on what feels like is the middle of a dialogue scene. The third act is beyond ridiculous and is just painful to watch, making this film overlong by about 25 minutes. If this movie had been shortened, it could have gotten an extra half star from me. But no.

Pain & Gain is just another Michael Bay film. Nothing special about it, other than the fact that it is his funniest film to date. I had a good time seeing it with my crew and I'm sure if I hadn't seen it with them, I would have disliked this even more. However, there are a few laughs in this film that makes it somewhat watchable...somewhat.

MY RATING:

2 out of 5

-KEVIN MILLWARD- 

Chris Reviews Jurassic Park 3D

I had been trying to see this with a friend for the past few weeks but just had not been able to get our schedules matched up. Finally this past Tuesday we were able to see it at 11:15 am and were literally the only people in the theater and probably in the entire building outside of the staff. My friend and I are both big fans of Jurassic Park but I had not seen the film in quite a few years and was looking forward to watching it through a much more critical lens. Does Jurassic Park still hold up as one of the premier Sci-fi/Adventure films of a generation? Read below to find out.

The Good-

Jurassic Park remains as powerful as ever. I had seen the sequels in theaters but this film came out before I was born so I never had a chance to experience it on the big screen, and wow was it awesome! This is Spielberg at his best as he creates a tense monster film that features solid performances, fantastic action sequences and effects as well as a classic John Williams score. I don't think I need to go into too much detail about the film because so much has already been written about it. Suffice it to say that Jurassic Park stands out as one of the best Sci-fi films of all time and holds up surprisingly well despite it being one of the first films to use a lot of CGI (they did still use a lot of animatronics and practical effects though).   

The Bad-

I'm not a big fan of 3D although it is growing on me. So with my bias against 3D in mind, I thought the 3D aspect of the film was pretty mediocre. There were a couple interesting scenes but nothing stood out as looking particularly cool. There were also a number of shots where tree limbs and light poles would jut out and distract from what was going on which was very irritating. The other thing that typically annoys me about 3D is that by wearing the glasses it darkens the image, it was not a huge deal in this film but it still annoyed me. So my complaints are pretty much all about the 3D rather than the film itself. There are a couple of minor stupid things that happen in the film that I noticed this time but nothing that would change my opinion of this being in my top 100 favorite films.

Summary-
 
So like I said, Jurassic Park is probably one of the best Sci-fi/Adventure films out there. It is a film that works for all ages as I still appreciate the film as much as I did when I was 5 years old. It easily fits into my top 100 favorite films of all time. The 3D on the other hand is extremely mediocre but I don't think that should stop you from seeing this classic film in theaters.

MY RATING-
 
4.5 out of 5

-Chris "Da Franchize" Hart

Kevin's Review of 42

I have become a big fan of the biography movies for a lot of reasons, but mostly because they are almost always good.  In recent memory, the only one that didn't do well with critics was J. Edgar.  Ray, Walk the Line, and 127 Hours are among my favorites.  How did 42 stack up next to these great films?

There's a lot to like about 42, but one thing that stood out to me was Chadwick Boseman's performance as Jackie Robinson.  I was skeptical seeing a no-namer play the lead of a film of this caliber, but I wasn't disappointed.  Boseman gives a great performance and he will surely be showing up again soon.  If you love baseball (who doesn't? If you don't, you are un-American), you will at least enjoy this film.  There is a lot of gameplay sequences that are fun to watch, to say the least.  Plus, one of my favorite sounds in the world is a wood bat cracking hard against a baseball, and there's plenty of that!  This film is very honest to the racism that Jackie Robinson had to endure, and it doesn't hold back in that respect.  N-words everywhere.  It will piss you off and this film does a good job of doing that when it comes to the racist elements. 

One thing that depressed the hell out of me was seeing Harrison Ford act in this film.  I play through my mind all the great films he's in, namely Star Wars and the Indiana Jones films, and it makes me sad to see how downhill he has gone, both as an actor and physically.  So it was depressing to say the least.  Another complaint I have about this film is how anti-climatic it was.  With so much build up, there was very little payoff which was slightly disappointing.  This film was also predictable, however, you have to expect that going into a sports film. 

42 is a bold entry to the sports/biography genre.  Arguably the best aspect of this film is a strong performance by Chadwick Boseman.  I look forward to seeing him in future roles.  Strongly recommended for a general audience, especially if you enjoy baseball.

MY RATING:

3.5 out of 5

-KEVIN MILLWARD-

The Place Beyond the Pines Review

I was really looking forward to this film. Derek Cianfrance created a melancholy portrait of a marriage that goes south in Blue Valentine and I was ecstatic to see more of his work.  This film appealed to me because I am a big fan of the crime genre, and with Ryan Gosling as the lead (supposedly) and with this being in the trusted hands of Derek Cianfrance, I expected this to be a good film.

And I was right. The Place Beyond the Pines is an ambitious and original vision that is unlike any film I've ever seen before.  For starters, this film is structured very differently from any film I've ever seen, however, it really works and it definitely makes the film unique.  This film wasn't quite what I expected, though, as we jump from Ryan Gosling's story to Bradley Cooper's story to his son's story.  Ryan Gosling ended up not having as much screen time as I had expected, but I was okay with it.  I did, however, enjoy his storyline the most.  This is strictly a crime DRAMA.  Maybe that's why I enjoyed Gosling's section the most, as it was the fastest paced of the three stories.  After his story comes to a close, the film slows down drastically.  I didn't expect it to slow down as much as it did, so I believe I would enjoy this film more after viewing it for a second time.  Bradley Cooper proves himself once again as a strong up and coming actor.  He gives a great performance in this and he has completely 180'd my opinion of him.  The cinematography in this film is gorgeous.  Although shaky at times (although this is a great improvement over Blue Valentine) the DP really had his ideas together and told the story visually, and it really worked.  There isn't a lot of music in this film, but when there is, it is used carefully and intentionally, which is also a great strength of this film.

There are a few drawbacks of this film.  It is too long by about 20 minutes.  Some things could have been trimmed so I wasn't shifting in my seat.  Around the third act, we jump ahead 15 years.  It wasn't really done smoothly, either.  A full-screen title reading "15 years later" shows up on the screen, and we are thrown into the story from there.  I thought that could've been done more smoothly, because it was very jarring, and it's a method that doesn't often work in films, in my humble opinion.  While the cinematography looks great, there are a few instances where it doesn't work.  For example (minor spoiler alert) Ryan Gosling assaults someone.  From the camera angle, it's hard to see the actual assault, so in that sense it didn't work.  Also, a very minor but noteworthy flaw are some of Ryan Gosling's tattoos.  They look like they were drawn on with a sharpie.  But whatever I'm not sweating it. 

Although it has a few flaws, The Place Beyond the Pines lived up to my expectations and is worthy of being called The Best Film of the Year This Far.  That's right.  This year has been really bad for movies, but this film makes it slightly bearable.  If you are a fan of serious crime dramas, this is a great film worth checking out.  Just be prepared to sit for what feels like longer than the actual run time.

MY RATING:

4 out of 5

-KEVIN MILLWARD-

Kevin Reviews Evil Dead

Unfortunately I was unable to watch the original before coming in to see Evil Dead because life gets in the way.  Living the swole life comes with its price, and I haven't had a chance to watch a whole lot of movies lately.  However, I will critique this movie like any other, and I think not seeing the original gives me a chance to fairly analyze this film.  Let's take a look.

I expected a lot of jump scares in this film, which I am not a fan of; partly because they work but mostly because it is a very cheap way to get a scare.  Look at The Shining, for example.  There are almost no jump scares in that film, yet it is one of the scariest films of all time, relying on building suspense and strong performances to create fear.  I was pleasantly surprised with how few jump scares this film used.  Evil Dead tries to go for classic scares in some instances which is a plus.  Another aspect of the film that was entertaining was Eric is the freakin' Terminator.  This guy would NOT die.  (Spoiler Alert) Eric takes severe beatings, stabbings, needles to the eye, crowbars to the head and body, and is shot repeatedly with a nail gun, yet STILL manages to save some of the supporting cast REPEATEDLY.  I found this flaw hilariously bad and it made the film somewhat enjoyable.

 With the tagline "The Most Terrifying Film You Will Ever Experience", I expected more from Evil Dead.  However, all I got was a bloodbath with lots of screaming.  Critics seem to like this film, more or less, but it is very stereotypical of your average horror film:  A recovering drug addict sees horrific things and it is blamed on her addiction.  Curiosity kills the cat as one character summons all evil in the film.  All the characters were bland and predictable.  Another major fallback of this film is it didn't know when to end.  There were what seemed like multiple climaxes and it really ruined the structure of the story.  I've been told the original The Evil Dead is funny/campy, but the remake doesn't showcase any humor (other than TerminEric, which was unintentional).  Finally, the acting in this film is extremely dry and lacks energy, but I should have expected that seeing as I have never heard of anyone in the lead cast.

Lackluster writing, excessive violence, and a jumbled plot make what could've been a solid remake a very bland one.  Fans of the original will appreciate some of the homage paid in this film (from what I've read, there are a few instances).  However, I cannot recommend this film as it falls in the cracks of your classic bad horror flick.  This is a forgettable film that you should save your money on and just not see. 

MY RATING:

2 out of 5

-KEVIN MILLWARD-

Action Movie of the Week- Action Jackson

So my attempt to keep constant content on the blog failed. I was just too busy with school to really be able to keep up with it. That being said I would still like to have more content on the blog than just the occasionally movie reviews. So we will start simple and work our way up by starting with an Action Movie of the Week post. This will be my attempt to indulge my masochistic tendencies of watching horrible action movies, hopefully I will be able to uncover a couple of gems and maybe induce a few laughs along the way. So lets get to it and and review this weeks film......Action Jackson.

  
After over a decade of playing the sidekick role in action films Carl Weather finally got his shot at a solo career with "Action Jackson" in 1988. He definitely seemed to fit the part after playing the charismatic Apollo Creed, he showed he had some acting ability and he had the muscle mass to back it up. Unfortunately like most action stars he made a very poor choice in what roles to accept. This would really be the only notable solo action film to his name and not a very good one at that.

"Action Jackson" tells the story of Detroit cop Jericho "Action" Jackson who is a local legend. He was a superstar athlete, graduated Harvard but decided he wanted to become a cop. He had been a lieutenant but was demoted after some big incident involving local businessman Peter Dellaplane's (Craig T. Nelson) son, after which his wife divorced him. But a series of murders of important auto union officials drag Jackson back into conflict with Mr. Dellaplane and "action" ensues.

Sharon Stone's tanning bed broke.....

This is one of the worst written action movies I have watched in a while. The film just sort of muddles around
for an hour and a half with a lot of exposition and then randomly will break out into some fighting scene. There were parts of this movie that I honestly had no clue what was going on, and I usually can pick up on the most confusing of story lines. I later discovered that I was WAY over thinking it because there really is not any plot beyond what I wrote in the paragraph above. The bad guy is murdering some people because he is bad and then he captures the good guy because he doesn't like him and then at the end the bad guy dies. That is the plot in preschool terms which is about at what level the writers of the screenplay can write at.

Action Jackson's most challenging adversary?

So the writing was pretty terrible but what about the action scenes? Well sadly those are not that thrilling either. While the film may be titled "Action Jackson" the action is actually pretty tame except for a few hilariously inept sequences. Apparently "Action Jackson" is supposed to be some sort of super human who can outrun cars, jump out of 3 story buildings but somehow Craig T. Nelson can kick his ass with really horrible martial arts? The end fight sequence is probably the funniest sequence in the whole movie because it is so awkward and forced but even that is not very memorable. 
 

So was there anything that I did like about the movie? Well as I previously stated the action sequences were hilariously bad, Carl Weathers had a few funny one liners and there was also a fare amount of nudity from the leading lady played by model/singer Vanity. Unfortunately outside of those two things there is really not much to like about "Action Jackson".

Carl Weathers is Pissed Off!

MY RATING 

2 out of 5 

Chris "Da Franchize" Hart